Things really shifted for me as I began to understand how my thoughts and feelings are very related.
When I met my boyfriend the first thing I noticed about him was that he was always in a good mood. Nothing would alter his state – he quickly bounced back from any unpleasant circumstance or person. I asked him how can you always be in good mood? He asked me a series of question in return.
How do you feel when you feel good? I responded: I feel good and happy.
How do you feel when you feel sad? I responded I feel unhappy and upset.
So then, why would you choose to feel anything, but good? If you have choice over how you feel then why feel anything but good?
His perspective planted a seed in my mind, and I have always remembered that conversation. Now I understand that we are in charge of how we feel and how we feel is determined by what we think. So if you want to change how you’re feeling begin by understanding your thoughts.
This greatly changed my self-talk. I begin to monitor how I felt when I practiced negative self-talk verses when I practiced positive self-talk. I realized that my mood was better and overall I felt better. I also realized that I didn’t have to listen to my negative self-talk and that I had a choice, which I wasn’t consciously practicing to serve me.
In the video below I share how you can understand your thoughts plus a tool to use:
When did you make the connection between your thoughts and feelings? How has it changed your relationship with yourself?
Be patient. Be gentle. Be kind.